::re-post::

i read through my diary recently..and i found out something that i think i should post it ere..for no reasons..well mayb just da same crap i've been posting so far...it says:

25/5/06

Yesterday, i mean before that, this morning i just have an awkward dream. a dream taht i could hardly imagine will began on me. i hugged **?! that's something really shoking to me and yet i'm afraid. Yea guess i'm just being sensitive. I really thought it signifies somehting which i do not know what it is. I'm so eager and determined to find out. On the other side of me, i'm afraid to know the sign. Getting insane again. well i might b too snesitive this time..bt seriously is wat my instict told me..I still love** but i do not know what **'s thinking right now. Confused, frustration, and multiple of emotions are all pouring on me now. I seirously do not know WTH i want till now. IT's been almost 2 mth since we end up our relationship. i read someone's blog and i realised lotsa thigns. im nt that tragic. im nt gonna hurt myself bt im still tryign nt to. there's hell lots to say. and i dont know where to start.

exhaustion

today is one hell exhausted day... though i dont like it...as i got exam tmr bt i still havent study yet...9topics???..hw can i study all in nt even consider a day?...just a few hour...oh gosh...y do i become like this...** online again...and datz y im ere..writng blog instead of studying?...im ruining my future soon...hv not been goin out wit ** for couple of dayz...mayb ** like the way ** is now...bt i dont...im such a silly n stupid person...hw could i still like ** when our relationship have ended for almost 3 mth..im suffering still deep down in my heart...couldnt figure out hw to get back who i am...my soul hv trapped in ** body...**'s drying my blood slowly...i read **blog...bt i dun really understand entirely what **'s saying..all i noe is that **prefer to b just friends...im nt sure wat got into my mind dat i can still b fren wit **.sometimes i just cant bare the situation im in...mayb i really love **.just hate the way hw 'hbz'i am...nowadayz im so f'ng hate the time n the activities i involve...just couldnt spend much time wit **....i wasted lotsa chances to c **..n dat seriously hurts alot...man i think the way i sacrificed is just too over bt i can thelp it..for i c ** happy...i will b happy too...i still hold on to my believe : faith..fate..belief..trust..naive..
nonsense...

i refuse

This Is Where I’ve Got To Draw The Line
Cause I Refuse To Let You Think You Can Play With My Mind
Always Seems That You Think That I’m Blind
Causes There Always Certain Times When Your Hard To Find
Your On The Go, I’m On The Go, Were On The Go
I Can’t Catch You No More,
Can’t See You No More
And It No Longer Can Be Ignored
Cause At Once Upon A Time
It Was You I Adored

You Disappeared And Left Me Here,
Out In The Cold
And The Absence Of You Is Hurting My Soul
Didn’t Know There Was An End Of The Road
It Was So Easy For You Just To Let It All Go

And I Refuse,I Refuse To Have One More Sleepless Night
I Refuse,I Refuse To Let A Tear Fall From My Eye
I Refuse,I Refuse To Continue To Try
I Felt Like I Would Die, If I Could Breakdown And Cry
And I Refuse,I Refuse To Let You Walk Back Through That Door
I Refuse,I Refuse To Let You Hurt Me Anymore
And I Refuse,I Refuse To Continue To Ignore
The Fact I Fell To The Floor,
The Day You Walked Out My Door

And I RefuseNo Way Baby I Can’t Take It No More
And I RefuseNo Way Baby I Can’t Take It No More
And I RefuseNo Way , But I RefuseTo Take It Anymore
Remember When I Told You I Could Feel The Change
You Don’t Touch Me The Same,
Don’t Hold Me The Same
No, I Don’t Want You To Take All The Blame
Cause I Know I Had Those Moments When I Caused The Pain
This Back And Forth Just Like A War With You And Me
See We Both Disagree, Have We Ever Agreed?
This Is Nothing Like I Thought It Would Be

Was It All Just A Dream? Was It Ever In My Reach?
I Refuse I Refuse And I Refuse And I Refuse(Said I Refuse)To Take It Anymore

i really do

Ohhhh no... ohh, oh... mmmmOh... ohhhh...

Maybe I'm just wrong for feelin the way I do

Thoughts indecent, want to put those down to you

I know you have a girl, I don't want to tie

When you're free one night just make those hours mine

I can be another woman in your life

I can be the other reason you're out at night

I can be all the things you thought she might

I can be on the side

That would alright, alright, alright

Love just ain't my thang,

but half of you might be

Enough for two or more,

no her to me and me

Fine like expensive wine,

drunk off one glass of you

think that might be too much,

so weekends for me are cool

I can be another woman in your life

I can be the other reason you're out at night

I can be all the things you thought she might

I can be on the side

That would alright, alright, alright

I can be another woman in your life

I can be the other reason you're out at night

I can be all the things you thought she might

I can be on the sideThat would alright, alright, alright

Alright, alright, alright, alright....

getting personel

this is what actually goin on.....