normal day

is a saturday...
nothing special to do..
wat else besdies studying, oh i did my cooking again..is a success well just need abit of modification..overall is healthy and delicious lah...ahha my sis siad is good..so shud b ok..ahah
will post it up sooner or later but nt now...
and dden basically i watched tv all day long..eeks!
and i post my blog...
haha...
so there's nothing much...
guess datz all ler...
so glad miza replied me..ahahaha
i think i frightened her ahahah....

k nth else...
let me end with a short stuff or oh well i donno wat shud i called it...

the persona is so similar,
i couldnt resist but wanting more,
i hope it begins to b familiar,
so that i would not hang on, no more.

i hold back as i discovered,
no, i repeatedly reminded,
begging for mercy not wanting to suffered,
but it just made me wondered.

may or may not begin,
the tragedy might soon begin,
it'll hurt if is true,
i somehow wish it is true.

forget the day i had a smile on my face

a person once came up to me and ask..
wat is my happiest moment with my family?
i could not believe that i have difficulty in answering this question.
i stoned for awhile..thinking so exhaustively..
and nothing came to my mind.
i was terrified.
i say..i have a broken family..
biggest impact on me was most probably that it happened in the mid of my childhood year
when my brain is not mature yet but i know how to think already.
the problem is this.
if is happen when i was real young..i wouldnt b even thinking of it.
but at the young age i was and considered to b a person who hv brian to think..
it can haunts me sometimes..not trying to say im such a pity..and i know people like in Africa is worse than i...their mother or father or children can die anytime from now..just like that and nothign they could do..the young child may think, this is part of live...death is a usua thing to them..well is good...ratehr than u grieve and mourn for it....
back to me..
is almost 8yrs...
mama was in oevrseas...i just dont know if i shud worried or wat..
the adult alwiz say..this is adult prob this is adult prob..
mayb im really a deep-thinker or shall i say gullible?
yea i juts dont know how to enjoy life...ppl may see me liek a free soul...
i am..but i think more 2 a psycho or somehting...?!
ah i cant go on....stop ere

random random

this is a sneakers that a fren intro to me..

well i hv no idea wat izzit called already...

but looks cool to me...

if the swoosh have texture then mayb better..ahhaah..yesh my fren teach me that it is called a swoosh ..yeay i learn new thing!

wahaha...

eh my bday coming plz someone buy this for me..ahahahaha..kidding lerh..everyday is my bday anyway...ahahaha....TTM....

OK!

today i wooke up at 2PM..ahaha....actually got up at 10am...but end up procrastinating...till i finally lift my butt up...so i get ready...fetch my sis to centrepoint...i headed straight to giant/atria...yesh i went there? must b thinking wat i did there aite...going supermarket ocoz buy groceries lah...yea i very ah ma i noe...well just like shopping..i can spend like few hours there walking forth and back...

im nt just "zhai" walk lerh...meaning im nt just walking blindly with no purpose...iw ent there to buy food lah...since im so broke i need to stock up food so that i can cook for long term...and ive counted..it will definitely save my money for a month!...so guess wat i bought...i bought alot of stuff...and is oni RM** ahahahah...wink* so ive tried to make my shabu-shabu (datz wat i called) and turned out iw ent home by 4Pm++...and so is gonna b dinner time anyway so i keep it for tmr...ahaha....so the results of my shabu-shabu is unknown...wait till then...n i'll let u noe watz shabu-shabu...hahah....hopefully is delicious n healthy...

(=

toodlez!

nite of dawn

havent been like this for a long time..
so many memories passedby my delicate brain..
not sure if i shud b happy or sombre...
but ti seems that my life is so much happier before that..
i noe nothing will b the same again..so as u...
im getting over it...
im really trying so dman hard...
just alil bit more...
well anyway thanks to this fren...
this fren company me for the whole night of despair...
haha really a joker...
yet we play the same thing like wat u did to me..
sigh* well is just coincidence i mean..yea i wouldnt hv th eright to think so much anyway..
coz is impossible..i acnt turn back time nor anyone...
however, i think i feel so happy...
not been having a happy night/mornign as now...
really appreciate the effort and rite here i wanna thank you..thanks so much..
great song...great effort...joker ..lame and the perosn is dumber..ahaha
din noe got such ppl dumebr than me
ya allah...alhamdulila...
so sorry dude for if i have making so much inconveniences to u ahahha....
God knows who i am...

*let the music heal my soul* yeay!

random

it was the weather!
i claimed but is certainly not the matter!
undefined by its hardbitten day!
somehow all stays the same...

is all jumblled up

my bills for degree have arrived...
and im so frustrated coz my papa keep bugging me to apply loan
schoalrhsip and other financial help..
stress stress stress..
worse than exam...
rit enow i got so much pressure as if i dont hv any help..
yes i might stop studying n become a begger...
ahhaha nola too exaggerating..

anyway will figure it out later..

lixin is back! whee
our conversation started today!
finally since for so long she vanished in perak for SAM
gosh...woman u owe us a big time...

geez i should appreciate evry seconds from now to study but then..
im blogging...
wat am i doing here!
ah! screwed it
im gonna GG soon
GG everyday aso..
how i wish everythign will b just fine...

my luck has been dropping nowadayz...
u know i dont believe in luck
but then now i do..
coz i really cant figure out hw bad is my life rite now..
seriously u dont wanna know...

jo im still waitng for ur return!

tried this test posted in choo's blog..ahaha
kinda cool..
but i doubt bout this..
so impossible i mean...

You are the World

Completion, Good Reward.

The World is the final card of the Major Arcana, and as such represents saturnian energies, time, and completion.

The World card pictures a dancer in a Yoni (sometimes made of laurel leaves). The Yoni symbolizes the great Mother, the cervix through which everything is born, and also the doorway to the next life after death. It is indicative of a complete circle. Everything is finally coming together, successfully and at last. You will get that Ph.D. you've been working for years to complete, graduate at long last, marry after a long engagement, or finish that huge project. This card is not for little ends, but for big ones, important ones, ones that come with well earned cheers and acknowledgements. Your hard work, knowledge, wisdom, patience, etc, will absolutely pay-off; you've done everything right.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

CongratZz CHARM II

CHARM Takes
THe 4Th PlacE InJapAN!!!
EXCELLENT!!
GOOD JOB!!!
WE ARE PROuD TO Be CHARM!!!!

COngRatzZ CHarm

though CHARM got 2nd place in cheer emas/ SCP.... u all r still the best!...really proud of u guyz...
good job n great effort....
hopefully u all really hv fun n nt just all bout winning le...
as long as u all put all ur effort n do ur best!
datz wat matter!...CHARM is tough stuff!!!!

yeay!
sos ad cant b part of it..sobz sobz

but still very happy fo rthem...
today another CHArm group coming back frm japan!
wonder hwz the competiiton!

random..sweet!

typical argument

just wat im expecting, a day which is so bad that i wanted to scream at 8a.m.
i almost gorge my eyeballs out to look into my left side contact lens..
and OMG!!!!!!!!!???****
there isnt any lens..im so dead..i noe is my execution day today..
yla...
i just din wear u for 1 day..
y u need to leave me like this.....
so **** i tell u...
i was so worried and yet i cant shout my lungs out...
i tried to calm down n is nt really me who can keep my rage so successfully, but i did!
i kept it in my heart.
my plan for today failed miserably...
due to this matter, i got no mood to coach dynamitez.
no mood to go for a jog.
i walked aimlessly to ping's hse to return her book.
i went back home, trying to put on a smile and bade goodbye to my sis to work...
i tried spend entire time left, forgetting the incident.
when the time comes, i knew that my torture chamber's door is opened so widely for me..
and i got no choice but to go thru it to survive.
it was worse than i thought
$ do kills...
$ is everything since im young.
with $ u cant actually buy everything, but without $, u definitely cant buy ANYthing...
this may even ruin ur relationship.
so will u want to have $ but might or might nt ruin a relationship (a 50/50 chance)
or will u want to hv no $ but ruining a relationship?
well, it's clear i think, well at elast for me...

when i was small, i wish to meet my prince when im teenager. so i wish i could grow faster n step into teenage life...
when i was teenager, it wasnt that gd to hv bf anyway.
coz none of us know hw to drive, n God knows hw much trouble i deal with transporation.
so i wish to know hw to drive when im older.
so i waited for my 17th bday to come.
when i knew hw to drive, my prob doesnt solved yet.
$ dat matters now...
so i wish to b an adult real soon so i could work to reduce my burden to the family.
and yet im waiting wat is awaits me now....


for quite some times, i havent cried like today.
as i feel so angry, gulty, stress, i donno a mixture of feelings when dad strated to explode.
i can die everytime this occured.
mayb, im nt so sure, is somehtign good...
i felt relieved but yet im dissatisfied.
for the moment, i just want to msg you, joaquim! !!!
i need u so abdly rit enow!


*imagine for a lil thing like losing a contact lens can bring me to hell already!*

random

it has been a year now..
a year..
if a person really can let go so easily, that person probably have no feelings...
anyhow..
today i saw L..
to those who doesnt know who's L, well u may try to read back my gazzilions posts in the yr 2006.
ahhaha
for th moment i think this is such a small world..
my heart drops like when i first sat on a roller coaster rides..
nope i shall say bungy jump..
i cant believe i was hiding,
avoiding
like a scary cat..
and yet i am..
yes im suhc a chicken
but seriously i think is better for me to avoid..
if nt i'll b rather emo now..
i guess jo noe hw i react if im unhappy...
i'll nt b that sad but instead happy in an awkward and forceful and fake way..
yes..
guess most of u all dont know..
but mayb crazy ppl like me will react sucha way
i think im a good actress...
i often feel insecure..
insecure owrried bout this particular day willcome
often i leave my hse,
every steps i take is a deja vu for me
seriously i just so afraid i'll see L again
so afraid...
not knowing wat shall i say
not knowing if i shud smile
cry
angry
slap and make upa fight
i dont know...
thus im scared..
anyway i trie dnt to think this is fate...
is just coincidence..
yes..coincidence...

au revoir

my besties: joaquim aka jo aka 1/2 yau char kuai

yes im the other half...

r going to US tmr..
huhu~~~
sobz
im alone again...
no~~~
anyway rememeber souvenir saya okay!
i wan cool stuff...
i don care u read this or not ya...must know wat im thinking!
ahhahaa

c u soon!!!!

oh n my another bestie is comign back frm metriculation...
this bestie haihz..i disspointed d...
hopefully is really for good...
Lixin u better visit my blog..i know where u stay n is nt far aso..
ahhaha
so watch out!
hahahaha

good luck CHARM!

part of the CHARM is heading to JAPAN today!...so nice!
wish they could make our CHARM proud n we can b offcially undermalaysia soon..
datuk azalina knew bout it..
at least got ppl like her knew it...
CHARM u guyz better kick their ass k..
haha
and another part of the CHARM going for CHEER emas/SCP soon on this sat n sun!
hoepfully by then i've edi studied n gonna go support u guyz...
u all really did a great job despite all the tension u all have at the beginning...

CHARM is on the STARTWO newspaper again yesterday!
whee!!
but i hoep no1 saw me..
so ugly
so round like a fishball (i mean my head)
ew!
anyway is alwiz proud to b ont he newspaper..
i mean in ur life, how often can u b on a newspaper aight?

though im nt eitehr part of the CHARM for any competition..
i went for their practices when i culd..
n try to help if i do..
during that time often i forgot that im nt in the ocmpetition..
but i always felt happy that i could help n im part of the CHARM!
so sometimes is nt teh matter of u r in a great mission or not..
but is the matter of ur passion u have and chance are always there..
is a tough journey to b in a team...
but all in all, just hoping that everyone know hw to b humble and realise other ppl present

omg feel so nice they could go japan...
waiting for souvenirs...
WINK WINK
*later don hv malu aje*
ahhahaha

kla all bout charm oni this post...

bout exam..i gt no comment...
hehe

boring-ness

im nt supposed to say boring..
coz i shud b studying..
but yet as i think bout charm compeititon..
eeks..feel sos ad lah...the team is going to japan this thurs d!...
hmmm...
and i din even study anythign yet...
lurve to chill and do everyhting last mins..
tsk tsk...
tmr will hv mission!
to b a postwoman ahaha...
oh n today wat id id was cleaning my hse..
typical routine..
mop, swept, wash, clear!
tada!

this is my 2nd time posting this again...
but yet my 2nd sis say ok..haihz..sad betul...
anyway this is my "spaghetti la allécher"

boredom

how come nowadayz everyone seems to b missing?
or am i invisible to them?
often my mum said,
there is no such thing as "no time"
and i knwo thatz qutie true..coz is u dat is trying to take the time to laze around or sleep or rest.
but izzit more important than families, friends, and ur responsibility?
just to reply someone sms or calls or calling/smsing them?
well, this is wat calls human...full of excuses but alwiz never confessed it's an excuses to them..

wateva it is...
is just my thoughts.

dad hasbeen playign mahjong since starting of chinese new year till now...
im so sick of the noise n the egoism he has
or sarcasticm..
i feel so mad of him sometimes for being irresponsible father..
though he's been the one supplying allt he income to us..
but all i want is a fatehr who cares and really give the best for the child..
rather than ranter ranter and never tried his best...
ppl mite think im a horrid child for saying my own fatehr liek this..
but im used to it..for ppl alwiz stereotype me...
often he said 1 thing now but diff next time.
im so tired of hearing it lerh...
if he hv no money, y keep wasting money...
even i save moeny for him, i got scolded for nth..
omg..im clueless of being good n bad...
nt only him who's behaving liek this..
yet some other ppl too..

being the youngest is nt that good at all..
for those who may think is so good to b the youngest..
but in my situation is nt at all..
ive responsibility to do..
a hard 1..seriosuly i dont know why me?
ive tried every means i have...
and for 6 yrs...i got oni a pinch of success...
ah! i feel such a failure sometimes..
indeed i stress alot but i never show it..
coz is part of my growth..
for almost 7 yrs...i learn alot..
and i got treatened in many ways...
and i noe that, theres no point showing hw u felt when ppl acnt actually help u...
so jsut turn it into ur strength then...
but such strength that watz makes my beloved woman worrie dbout me..

these few dayz...
thinkign about doign something..
btu yet i never tried ot do it
coz whenever iw ant to do it,
i backup because some thigns just swayed thru my mind
and i hold back...
i begin to use the reverse-psychology
but yet it hurts me and also u...
sorry it is the pain that i often gives to ppl
it is the hard side of me that i can only give to u...
sometimes mayb is good to b a loner...
as to not continue to hurt others...
so just stay away from me...

ah! wat a pessimistic post i got...
eash!

this darn funny

done by clasmates...tsk tsk..
finds out more at chin hong's blog ppl..
ahahaha

TEll Moi Watz Ya GOt? *winkY*

did the 2nd time coz got few question i was nt sure..ahah guess imt oo free an di got this...

i woke up at 2pm today.
not knowing wat to do or wat to say.
both sis went clubbing yesterday.
i wish i could go but turns out nt that way.
anyway i dont really mind as im tired and feel lazy.
i online again while chatting with the same person again.
felt a pinch of loneliness inside myself.
but oh well it will fade by itself.
i looked at the way ppl's living their life.
simple and fine..
wonder why and if i could b like those ppl.
just plain dull or just splendid with no sigh*
i reflected myself.
not too bad not too dull
just almost satisfied but yet is a distance away.
i experienced extraordinary of life.
yet, there r more to come in the future.
i will add a tinge of colour in my life every day.
just to reach the paradise i expecting.
every falls i've revived again.
someitmes just think if it do any good to b able to let put the problems aside
i believe problem is a way to help u be wise.
and mistakes help u to b a better person.
only by having negativity, u will find the positivity.
only argument can help u understand the matter better.
so isnt it better if u could just be open-minded and be patient
tolerant and caring,
u'll realised that understanding ur peers are so vital in any relationship.

tiring day

today is somewhat friday the 13th which si also the 2nd last day with my td12 classmates.

ate witht hem for lunch in 'my noodle house'.

but some spaghetti ingredient coz im broke so need to stock up food for logn term use.



the day doesnt ends here..

continue with a wonderful suggestion frm wein..to play baseball

ended up watching a movie...

keep pursuing them to watch reaping or hannibal..

but wien refused

instead she ratehr watch perfume

botha so phsycho show wert..haihz

bad lerh...

anyway im too desperate to watch hannibal coz i booked tix..is ahrd to book tix u noe...

so what did i do?

i go call up another fren of mine..which is mya nother half yau char kuai..jojo

she's so nice..though she somehwo liek wein..sced to watch bt she's a great fren..

she teman me wtach

so after the 4.40 show i straightaway rushed up to cinema again to watch th enext show

ahhaha

skipped dinner

so darn cold i don even feel any hunger

and also i sprained my sprained-before leg again!

painfulnye...well used to it d...coz once u sprained ur leg b4..u tend to sprianed it again
coz is fragile...but malu lah...got rip in cinema..luckiyl is dark inside...



but i was sos atisfied..i mite gonna go phsycho for watching so many maniac movies..

ahahaha

ont his particular day..

but nevertheless...im so happy that this actor in hannibal is so damn cute..

he is sexy hot,, cute...elgant gorgeuos pretty..

ah! total package for me..

i repeat ah..is fo rme...

wta othe rppl think i donno la...



i love this guy..ah!...crazy over him...

GAspard Ulliel...

XOXO

**** my connection

jorh y y y this time!
is friday the 13th...ok...so?
y must b me
yerh...stupid..i cant connect to msn now n i cant even load the hotmail page..y oni this 2...
omg....
shyt lah..im darn bored..wat if..
wat if
i got hacked?
wat if..i cnat used my email add anymroe...
shyt lah.....

sPecial@---}{---

this is ck..
or you can call him Tan Shui Bian
he is a tree..a tall tree in my td...
(luckily he din wear green on that day!)
just like yao ming ..for those who do not know who's yao ming..he is actually a
renowned basket-baller...
haahha..
look at those people around him!
we're so tiny like a dwarf!
ahahah..anyway this guy ere is very lame, funny,
total lamer, lame, very lame, and alwiz got himself almost GG
he is all-lecturer fav.
he is very good actually...

ok after this special introduction which i cant resist myself from posting this guy ere..
we move on to the next....

• 

ok ahem* ahem*

human! we are a stranger
ignorant as a beginner
only know we are here to be a learner
not knowing we will meet each other.

it was then, our relation just swayed
it is now, together we are gay
in deep thoughts we somehow say
how we hope we can turn back time someday.

day by day, distance by distance
we are apart in just an instance
just remember to feel each other existence
in any means, yes! a vital conscience.

XOXO
dedicated to td12 from peikee
*sry if its lousy.. but heart dat counts ok*

"appreciate every extraordinary moment
treasure every everlasting memory"

short breath

finally my assignments and presentations are over...
and guess watz coming up next?
is................my finals!
c...is so lifeless!
just around the corner....final sem final exam...
haihz just nt so ready for this...
and also spending less n less time with foundation fren...
sigh*

CHARM is goign for japan cup compeitition n also SCP...
im so upset for missing it...
y alwiz lidet..
haihz....
but nevertheless, i wish them all the best and bring victory to CHARM!

oh general prac is off for now..
hmm..well again u c...y lidet..when i free got nth when im nt free gt so many events..grr...

anywya im relieved now!
oh n i got lotsa pics...stupid pics, lame pics, serious pics, vain pics..wat pics aso got..
so erm
when i got the mood first k..
coz blogger is lousy...

m.i.s.s.

I MISS...

• EVERY SINGLE FREN IN UTAR
• EVERY SINGLE DAY I SPEND WITH MY FREN
• EVERY MOMENT IM IN PA
  
• EVERY SWEET AND SOUR MOMENT IN FOUNDATION
  
• EVERY LAME AND STUPIDITY WE DID TOGEDA
• ZACK
• YOON SIN
• WEI CYNN
• SHING YEE
• SUK WEIN THOUGH SHE'S NT LEAVING ME...SO NICE!
  
• THOSE WHO GONNA LEAVE PJ CAMPUS
• FUN TIME WE'VE SPEND EACH AND EVERY SINGLE SECONDS
• TZY SHUAN(NT SUR EHW TO SPELL), SHERIL, FERN, LILI, SOH NEE, AND SO ON...
• ALL THE GUYZ IN MY TD
  
• ALL THE LECTURER I NOe

SO....

people...
keep in touch!
a single respond can mean alot k...
i think on the last day im gonna cry...
T__T

tiring weeks

hey guyz im back to blogging...
been dayz im bz with all the assignment..
i can really break the record aight!..for not sleeping for 3 dayz and also sleep for oni 2hrs for 5 dayz...
man this is insane..
now 1 more left to go...
hw i hope everythign will goes well...and stop torturing me!!!....
timetables for finals is up!
my goodness they're nutz...
y cant they just do the exam straight in a roll but split it up into a whoel big gap!
gosh i ppl want holiday lah...
yorh...u c they r nutZZzzz.....

lazy to type all sortsa rubbish...

pics pics pics...

this is our drama! we rehearse, we spend so much time on it! great effort...on thta day was damn farny...forgot script and all.. but overall everyone is so pretty on that day..hahahah.....oh and the guys actually do a drama by the theme of "romeo and romeo" is about gay stuff...ahaha darn funny....
and then we have our web page design presentation...we did well...yeay!
and staretd to camwhore after that...

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


next up...is few dayz before all our presentaion stuff...
our class all go crazee ...
the room is conquer by us noisy ppl...ahaha
doing lame stuff which is karaoke in lecture room..ahaha
ok so this guy chong actually serenade to shing yee..
ahaha...by force of course...
but it was sos chillign elrh...

shing yee the beuty *trying to ignore* ahahha

chong the beast *singing like a prince*

the audience who thought of this lame thigny *haihz..bunch of lamer*