shytty days ive been

i tot short sem will nt b that hectic but it proves me wrong.
for almost 4 dayz ive nt been sleeping..
1st,2nd and 3rd day were fairly well which i self-proclaim dat at least im able to sleep
*yea sos call "sleep" which is like 1 or 2hr'"
so peikee is looking ratehr "chan" (fatigue) already
and worse i didnt sleep ata ll ont he 4th day along with my fren, wein who is also strugglign togeda
with me to finsihed up d assignment..
so on that day itself finally we still havent finished but wat to do at leats must submit somethign our head, zack, who i guess also didnt sleep the whole day...
so 3 panda were in utar..
but the shitty day doesnt just end here...
we go for our class withotu sleeping at 8am...
and guess wat..once me n wein reached there...our lecturer happened to call me to do the task of..
acting about the situation that is projected in the slide.
so im like "huhhh...i just reached only..." (and im darn tired n sleepy ..ant even think..but all i did was just to go with the flow)
and then...later...lecturer called another person..and that is....wein! ahahah wat a coincidence....
shytty hell i tell u...
after that we continue our assignent n oops got prob with the pendrive of yoon sin...
so....
me zack n wein were working out with the com..n we eneded up not attending the management class..
after that my eyes gonna cry d n its nerve wanna burst d...but still need to rehearse our drama..
den yada yada yada...
they decided to go "sing ma in pasar seni to get stuff for our drama"
my goodness i also nt sure y i go along..
so once i fetch yuen to lrt n i waited for wein in her hse..both of us headed to lrt n there we go...
so it was fun le...but i really darn sleepy
going back home...we sat bus..n luckily is cold inside n nt hot...but i fall asslep evry now n then...
n we din noe that the bus actually stop after ss2...n so we tot got taxi..
so me n wein like keep walkign hoping to c a taxi...
but is in vain...
so...we decided to walk back to.....SS4!!!!!!!! wah datz insane man....
ahvent sleep whole day, go pasar seni...walk back home...is a far far journey....
whatz more i have to drive abck hoem after dat..wah im glad im still alive..went hoem eat my dinner....bath....i lie on my bed n knocked off...
and i idn noe i slept....tillt he next afternoon!...wah sleep for mre than 12hr....
n now i online to continue my assignment again...
this is y im nt able to post anything...
hahaah.....
sigh*

It's Not Over- Chris Daughtry

this song kept running in my mind!
but yet i havent sick of it..

C3 finally over and done.
i shall say is just almost gonna be a success for me. but sigh* why must ended up ruining my
goodie mood. just a lil bit more and is gonna b a great event. as everyone noe, i aim for perfection
which is indeed an issue for me. however, nothing i can do to turn back time. I wanted it to be
perfect because, i really put my effort and time in doing my job. )=
but anyway, is over. and i learn from it.

however, even so and so is over, as im still alive, im nt over yet...

my 'plague' day is coming soon.
is been a year now..
i still think bout u now and then.
this is call "jin" in cantonese..
i really cant accept the fact that we've been apart for a year!
n still im nt over u yet...
like the lyrics goes:

"Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground
This love is killing me
But you’re the only one"

to be honest,
i just feel that im nth good..
i dont like ppl to understand me..
but i fall for ppl very easily...
even if the person undertstand me just a lil..
is somethign that i feel enough as i'm hard to b understood.
im so clueless..
if u think i should change,
i rather forget wat ive said..
ahahah
coz i jsut dont know how...

so my life moves on..n nothing is over...

uhm...

i couldn't figured out what title should i put but anyway that doesnt matter so much.

im so so exhausted..!!!!!!??!!!
ive not been sleeping like 2 dayz because of doing assignments and exam coming soon again and also i gotta call up the participants which is so many and yea my bills also came out rather shocking! even there's this person who reply my message around 4am! wah this person sure smart enough to knwo i havent sleep yet.

anyway i noe u guyz will b thinking..since im so tired and sleepy y nt i sleep now..and wth im doing here blogging rite..uhm..well i'll say that...i cant help it lah..i c my blog so retarded.. it makes me feel pathetic as the blogger..haha..so just let me crap something..whatz more is the best way for me to review my day as well..

so tmr is the brieifng day for CHARM cheerleading championship 2007. i was actually kinda worried. not sure about wat. however, i really feel pissed because someone just said somethign to me which is i feel that izzit wrong to ask question?
anyway watz past edi past and i dont feel is a disgrace to myself if i admit im a noob. at least, i try to do the best i can. and my feedback is as if im wrong..in short, the person must b thinking im a total loser.
*sigh*
hopefully everything will turn out alrite tmr..
no..cannot hope...is a MUST
God knows hw much i put my effort into it.
keeping my finger-crossed..

drama script, ms samantha said it was good! yeay!
so now i wished that my directing skills will b alrite
so that the actresses will perform well.
i just hope u guys enjoy urself and just b lively!

watz left for me to think about is management..
im so way back from others..
so i guess tonite i wont b able to sleep again..
y la i cant figure out the difference between opportunities and strength
alwiz get myself trapped into the pool of confusion.!
pfftf...

in a month times, i will finish my foundation!
goign degree..im kinda like sad and nt excited at all..
gonna miss seeing all my utar fren..*sobz*sobz*
not sure if im used to the environment there or wat but the dissatisfactioni have towards utar is now gone..i no longer hate utar except...EXCEPT...for the stupid parking space and nonsensical rules from G.O....can never get a good parkign space!..grr..
well people may say utar is not good this n that...
well diff ppl hv diff thoughts.
i mean if u hv da money...den go on saying the bad thigns bout utar lah...
if not...try it and is not that bad at all...
(haha i better nt say so much...later someday i changed my mind when i starts my degree)
hahahaha....

i shall get some nap now or i'll looks liek begger later...

to be continue...

this shudnt b happenign to me!

i shall say that im such a blur queen..
imean im the head
hw can i dont know that we're gonna perofrm the first?
stupid me
tot it was just kidding
well...shhoott..
i dont even noe they pick no. on thurs...
hw can a head dont know bout this?
this is unforgivable
i dont forgive myself
nor i really think that im so doink!
omg!
i failed

i need a break

im tired
im exhausted
im fatigue
im stress
im frustrated
im drained
.
.
.
.

i need some fresh air
i need some help
i need to know watz goign on clearly
i just need some break
i just need some support

going crazee

whatz going on with me nowadayz...
totally clueless
could feel my life is almost shattered
my heart is almost plagued by hurts
and my brain will soon messed up...

i dont want this to happen...
i fear
im afraid
i wanna shoot the gun not to myself but to u
yes
u
u
u
u
and finally me...

sounds so psycho...
gosh...

dilemma

People alwiz say that being a human is difficult. The moment ur brain starts to function, you start to think, and think, and think again. Why in our life we must make so many decisions? Why cant it just as simple as getting up frm sleep, eat, entertain urself, bath, sleep again.of course such route is boring. whether u like ur life to b stressful or boring, i'll just leave it for u to think. As for me, i alwiz thought of questionz that have no answer for it. like for example, why must we breath, why must we hv legs to walk, why cant our legs just like those wheels with tyres then we no need to take so much energy to walk.
haha obviously im tryign to say im lazy.hahaha.LAME! for me i normally get frustrated bout decision that i have to make for my education. so much to b considered and is a real big deal.
if u ever make the wrong decision, ur future will b affected as well. see is future.
i brought up this topic because...
i still not sure bout wat i really wanted to study.

i cant really decide on whetehr should i go for the course that will earn $$ and gaurantee better life and u r average interested but u r not qualified for it 
OR 
the course that u really interested & mayb will qualified for it but is hard to get job because lotsa competitor and payment will b low.
i got not much time to think bout it...so i hope if anyone could just give me some advice or tell me what potential can u see in me? hmm seems liek i dont really noe myself at all..
oh and u noe i got analyze before bout the career that i should b in or somethign lidet in my previous post? not sure when was it..but the statistic, well not only int his test but for many coucelling ive attended, i alwiz in the performing art category...y lah....i eman i liek it lah but then...when i think bout my future and u noe nowadayz ppl r just so real..no cert no professional  qualification no talk..grrr...
haha and my math lecturer mr ong so funny...he said that he definitely neo that im good at cheerleading..grr im nt asking bout that elrh sir....nonsense betul dia..
oh n this is our conversation dat day ...

Part I

me: im gonna stick to actuaries lah mr ong..im gonna work in oil and gas d...

mr ong: hahahaa...eh good then next time i no petrol i giev u a call "eh my car just out of oil lah can u come n deliver ah?"

me: cis...(wanted to say i will take the gas and explode ur car!..ahaha jk) i will coutnt he probabilty of your car to explode when use my delivered oil..ahahah

Part II

mr ong : What do you like to do?

wein: i dont liek to do anything.

mr ong: hmm den i know...you should just keep to actuarial science n faster married wif a rich guy n b housewife!

wein: uhmmm....

(the group of ppl burst in laughter)
 
me: i love to sleep

mr ong: huh...sleep....erm..what kinda job requires taht uh...?

zack: hahahaha....

me: i will go CHina

mr ong: huh china? y?

me: coz i'll b dere doing prostitution..lurve sleeping mah...ahahah

(mr ong sweat to death..ahahahah...)
(of course is justa  joke)

continue with blogging

its been awhile that i havent been updated my posts.
finally i got the initiative to do so due to several errands im running these dayz.

first of all, did anyone see CHARM in STAR newspaper?
haha...is alwayz exciting for me to see myself on newspaper! though is just a tiny lil me.
i went to JOHOR on fri nite which we took 12am (sat) midnite bus.
i got food poisoning just afew hrs before heading to pyramid.
i wanted to back out so much but unfortunately i couldnt coz of no having substitute.
and also i dont want my captain to b frustrated bout it instead.
so i forced myself to just do it. and hellt he journey i would say is my worst journey so far.
rite now, i already have food phobia.
so sick of eating n puking all out again..whatz th epoint eating n letting me to suffer
like im having bullimic.
anyhow is great to go for a performance specially to elsewhere with a big bunch of ppl!

just finished studying my web page design..
not sure if i can remembered wat ive studied but i just hope i can roughly know wat izzit
coz today i just partially recovered and tmr is my mid term exam..
tsk tsk...not really enjoying 3rd sem..as everything is so rushing..
assignment is due on the same day..lack of time..lack of preparation..
ok n im the head of drama..so im so not sure if i oculd handle it..just so worried coz
i think that im not capable as i cant fulfill everyone's needs..
eventhough my members seemed to agree with wateva i said, mayb i think too much,
but is as if they'r nt sincere..sorry guys but i just want u all to enjoy..
coz there aint any good if is making u all to do it reluctantly rite..
easy to type it here but hard to say it out..
thatz just me waiting for the rite time to say it..

Oh n durign the trip back frm johor..i get to watch "u think u can dance?" and also my captain, cheewei, and yenniez dance! in my own opinion, i think that they're pretty good..it was so um..sentimental, elegant, gentle, and dreamy..haha i donno..just so soothing..
good good...really admire those ppl who can dance so well..i myself really loves dancing but i shall say my dancing sux..(not tryign to b humble but is true)..hope i can work on it though..(=

in about a month time, i will again meet my worst day in my life.
time flies like there isnt 24 hrs a day u noe wat i mean..
i am moving on but whatz holding me back?
impossible to b ntohing but the fact is nothign holds me back.
unless the scars that i possessed...
yea it remains forever..
why why why.....

cny is over/ random

cny is over n im gonna opened up my ang pow tmr!
yeay!
and my fever just gone!
bt still im mute...wtf...
anyway tmr gt class...
wanted to blog lotsa things....
mayb tmr oreven tues lerh...

liveless me

i looks so fatigue nowadayz like as if when i stared myself at my mirror..
i will somehow have the goosebumps feeling...

these few dayz i cried alot
reasons i cried im not gonna specified here..
if u really concerned bout me,
i dare u to ask me..jk*
what i mean is ive no point if i state my reasons here..

do u noe wat i hate at this moment?
is dat those cheater was actually a wise person.
seems like it makes sense..well duhh...since he/she successfully cheated someone...
of course considered wise wert.
ok mayb is just the person happens to b stupid..
eitehr way...
dat is y i hate ppl who think they r smart n hv the power and thus can misuse it
unintentionally on those stupid ones.
does they have hearts? did they ever connect their heart to their brain..
well nt much ppl can b like Jesus CHrist i mean i 100% salute Jesus!
how HE did that?
if only the homo sapiens can hv 1/2 of His values,
i think this world would b so beautiful and filled with happiness...

*mind me if im being so unreasonable or anything...i wont give a damn to it..
because i hv my own opinion n i think is true...ask ur self personally...
ppl alwiz liek to sin but nt confessing n try to realised it*