it's been since i've posted anythign ere..well i noe it's just 2dayz but still it's like a long time.. after 2 dayz of restless night n without sleeping..finally i've done my assignment for programming and public speaking. erm my public speaking was totally rubbish n sux..coz indeed i did it last last last mins..but well blaming myself n regretting now doesnt help much..just let it be..n i thought after all these things i'll b free but im wrong! i'll be having my physics n programming exam on wednesday..gosh im so so so sick of this life! y cant i have a break? both subjects r so tough.. how am i gonna handle it? am i gonna screwed it up like my chemistry n public speaking? NO ocoz i dowan..but seems like im really damn tired that i don have the energy to study anymore..i noe if i don get my ass of my seats n back to my roomt o study i'll b obviously dead on wednesday!
bare with me..i'll be talkign alot of things today coz it's been so long n alot of things dat i wanna say.. i mean im just posting it so that i hope when im old i can reminisce my past n c hw my life goes ups n down! haha jk...
first, i wanna say bout my assignment..was totally no idea y shud we do such thigns...n i really donnno wat im doing besides designing..im a total IT idiot..so ocoz im nt that smart that i can finished up my assignmwent just lidet .. with the help of of ZEYING and my fellow frenz...if inally done it! at least...seriously zeying we r sorry that we were actually delaying ur journey back home..ahah...just to stay in MC n assist annoying n ignorant people like us..n still u can b so patient n nt explode with our blur behaviour...thank u so much n sorry so much...thatz all that i can say..oh i personally wanna thank u for letting me use ur com n sleepign on ur bed...ahahha...thank u thank u..huggiEEzz...
secondly, about public speaking..the topics that i choose was somehow partially related into what i think is so true that i've been experience it but some r just so so...like i say living with honesty...yea i admit i lie too...i mena who doesnt rite...it's jsut aprt of our life...hw can ppl nt lie?...it's jsut so hard to b true all the time..
well i dont wanna say much...just 1 word...dissapointing...or upset...bt wateva is done is done..so i dowanna think about it...rite now i need ot figure out hw am i gonna do my 2nd public speaking which is so frustrating also..wait till then...
thirdly, i definitely talk about my japanese class...i dunno y but i enjoy this class...there's no tension when im in that class...i don feel any pressure attacking on me...i just feel so nice n happy to b int hat class...u can learn samo and u can love the class samo..datz wta i want...
then again its time for me to throw up my pessimistic thoughts...ahaha..i mean nt realli..but erm wat shud i say...wateva is ay frm now will b abit of a cliche so u don need to realli understand...for i will not b spekaing directly...anyway here it goes...u neo wat nowadayz seems like im so afraid, so scared, so fearful of my own achievement..i started to doubt bout myself n my ability...i just couldnt hodl on to myself anymore...this kinda feelings turns my head ups side down..so sickening..wateva i do wherever i go at anytime, i begin to afraid of myself..afraid that i'll gonna step the worng step...i dowan the tragic to reborn again..evryday is obvious to me that those thigns started to diminished bi by bit frm me...i bliv somebody taking it away frm me..n im afraid...i do not know wat shud i do...im in a total mess...seriously if i consult a psychologist will they b able to ehlp me? even if they do..i wont hv that much money anyway...so seekign for proffesional is out of my mind...my brain begins to b infected by virus...a virus that i couldnt erased it...when i try to destroy it...i destroy those thigns that ims upposed to remember bt nt that 1...y? why torture me like this...is there no other way? or izzit just nt the time yet?...it's just so disturbing and all i can feel is that my death is coming soon...i alwiz felt that...when i drive...it's alwiz this secodns near to DEATH...i dono..i just got the feeling that im gonna hv a short life...well*touchwood* i noe bt i cant deny it...it's just come naturally...bt i felt that it is good too for i live my life now to the fullest as possible as i could...because if dont i may die tomoro n i will die regretting about lotsa things..i dont wanna let go by that time im regretting..i wont wnana die...so satisfaction is very important to me...
it's gonna b almost a yr frm now..n the distance between u n me is getting further n further...n liek wat my fren say...the feeling of losing a fren sometimes brings sorrow n solemness within..but wat can we do...the other party make his decision. we just can accept it n endure the hurts in our hearts..no matter hw bz u r, or mayb u r nt bz, or mayb u just wanna ignore me n being those wicked person u r just to let me think that u're cruel so that i could forget u...well i can just obeyw ateva u want...u wanna stop talkign ok iw ont talk...but hey is that what u thinking? u think that i will think that way? u think that i will b satisfy with it...i knw someday this blog will b revelaed ot u...n the someday i wouldnt noe when..coz i just i just id unno wateva it is...im just hiding...im totally bullshit ere...coz i dunno issit soemthing good or bad if u noe bout this...but i hv the feelings that someday i will let out wat i wanan let out to u without caring u're thinking that im gone insane or not...
im going to end my post now if nt i'll get myself into total emo freak....den more of my secret will revealed q=
eeks nt good nt good...ahahaha
sorry la guys..everyone of us got a secret k...ahahaha
thatz y it is calls ecret...
ahahaha
ahaha
carzy d...kla me signing off now...
bare with me..i'll be talkign alot of things today coz it's been so long n alot of things dat i wanna say.. i mean im just posting it so that i hope when im old i can reminisce my past n c hw my life goes ups n down! haha jk...
first, i wanna say bout my assignment..was totally no idea y shud we do such thigns...n i really donnno wat im doing besides designing..im a total IT idiot..so ocoz im nt that smart that i can finished up my assignmwent just lidet .. with the help of of ZEYING and my fellow frenz...if inally done it! at least...seriously zeying we r sorry that we were actually delaying ur journey back home..ahah...just to stay in MC n assist annoying n ignorant people like us..n still u can b so patient n nt explode with our blur behaviour...thank u so much n sorry so much...thatz all that i can say..oh i personally wanna thank u for letting me use ur com n sleepign on ur bed...ahahha...thank u thank u..huggiEEzz...
secondly, about public speaking..the topics that i choose was somehow partially related into what i think is so true that i've been experience it but some r just so so...like i say living with honesty...yea i admit i lie too...i mena who doesnt rite...it's jsut aprt of our life...hw can ppl nt lie?...it's jsut so hard to b true all the time..
well i dont wanna say much...just 1 word...dissapointing...or upset...bt wateva is done is done..so i dowanna think about it...rite now i need ot figure out hw am i gonna do my 2nd public speaking which is so frustrating also..wait till then...
thirdly, i definitely talk about my japanese class...i dunno y but i enjoy this class...there's no tension when im in that class...i don feel any pressure attacking on me...i just feel so nice n happy to b int hat class...u can learn samo and u can love the class samo..datz wta i want...
then again its time for me to throw up my pessimistic thoughts...ahaha..i mean nt realli..but erm wat shud i say...wateva is ay frm now will b abit of a cliche so u don need to realli understand...for i will not b spekaing directly...anyway here it goes...u neo wat nowadayz seems like im so afraid, so scared, so fearful of my own achievement..i started to doubt bout myself n my ability...i just couldnt hodl on to myself anymore...this kinda feelings turns my head ups side down..so sickening..wateva i do wherever i go at anytime, i begin to afraid of myself..afraid that i'll gonna step the worng step...i dowan the tragic to reborn again..evryday is obvious to me that those thigns started to diminished bi by bit frm me...i bliv somebody taking it away frm me..n im afraid...i do not know wat shud i do...im in a total mess...seriously if i consult a psychologist will they b able to ehlp me? even if they do..i wont hv that much money anyway...so seekign for proffesional is out of my mind...my brain begins to b infected by virus...a virus that i couldnt erased it...when i try to destroy it...i destroy those thigns that ims upposed to remember bt nt that 1...y? why torture me like this...is there no other way? or izzit just nt the time yet?...it's just so disturbing and all i can feel is that my death is coming soon...i alwiz felt that...when i drive...it's alwiz this secodns near to DEATH...i dono..i just got the feeling that im gonna hv a short life...well*touchwood* i noe bt i cant deny it...it's just come naturally...bt i felt that it is good too for i live my life now to the fullest as possible as i could...because if dont i may die tomoro n i will die regretting about lotsa things..i dont wanna let go by that time im regretting..i wont wnana die...so satisfaction is very important to me...
it's gonna b almost a yr frm now..n the distance between u n me is getting further n further...n liek wat my fren say...the feeling of losing a fren sometimes brings sorrow n solemness within..but wat can we do...the other party make his decision. we just can accept it n endure the hurts in our hearts..no matter hw bz u r, or mayb u r nt bz, or mayb u just wanna ignore me n being those wicked person u r just to let me think that u're cruel so that i could forget u...well i can just obeyw ateva u want...u wanna stop talkign ok iw ont talk...but hey is that what u thinking? u think that i will think that way? u think that i will b satisfy with it...i knw someday this blog will b revelaed ot u...n the someday i wouldnt noe when..coz i just i just id unno wateva it is...im just hiding...im totally bullshit ere...coz i dunno issit soemthing good or bad if u noe bout this...but i hv the feelings that someday i will let out wat i wanan let out to u without caring u're thinking that im gone insane or not...
im going to end my post now if nt i'll get myself into total emo freak....den more of my secret will revealed q=
eeks nt good nt good...ahahaha
sorry la guys..everyone of us got a secret k...ahahaha
thatz y it is calls ecret...
ahahaha
ahaha
carzy d...kla me signing off now...
.JPG)
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