random

it has been a year now..
a year..
if a person really can let go so easily, that person probably have no feelings...
anyhow..
today i saw L..
to those who doesnt know who's L, well u may try to read back my gazzilions posts in the yr 2006.
ahhaha
for th moment i think this is such a small world..
my heart drops like when i first sat on a roller coaster rides..
nope i shall say bungy jump..
i cant believe i was hiding,
avoiding
like a scary cat..
and yet i am..
yes im suhc a chicken
but seriously i think is better for me to avoid..
if nt i'll b rather emo now..
i guess jo noe hw i react if im unhappy...
i'll nt b that sad but instead happy in an awkward and forceful and fake way..
yes..
guess most of u all dont know..
but mayb crazy ppl like me will react sucha way
i think im a good actress...
i often feel insecure..
insecure owrried bout this particular day willcome
often i leave my hse,
every steps i take is a deja vu for me
seriously i just so afraid i'll see L again
so afraid...
not knowing wat shall i say
not knowing if i shud smile
cry
angry
slap and make upa fight
i dont know...
thus im scared..
anyway i trie dnt to think this is fate...
is just coincidence..
yes..coincidence...