boredom

how come nowadayz everyone seems to b missing?
or am i invisible to them?
often my mum said,
there is no such thing as "no time"
and i knwo thatz qutie true..coz is u dat is trying to take the time to laze around or sleep or rest.
but izzit more important than families, friends, and ur responsibility?
just to reply someone sms or calls or calling/smsing them?
well, this is wat calls human...full of excuses but alwiz never confessed it's an excuses to them..

wateva it is...
is just my thoughts.

dad hasbeen playign mahjong since starting of chinese new year till now...
im so sick of the noise n the egoism he has
or sarcasticm..
i feel so mad of him sometimes for being irresponsible father..
though he's been the one supplying allt he income to us..
but all i want is a fatehr who cares and really give the best for the child..
rather than ranter ranter and never tried his best...
ppl mite think im a horrid child for saying my own fatehr liek this..
but im used to it..for ppl alwiz stereotype me...
often he said 1 thing now but diff next time.
im so tired of hearing it lerh...
if he hv no money, y keep wasting money...
even i save moeny for him, i got scolded for nth..
omg..im clueless of being good n bad...
nt only him who's behaving liek this..
yet some other ppl too..

being the youngest is nt that good at all..
for those who may think is so good to b the youngest..
but in my situation is nt at all..
ive responsibility to do..
a hard 1..seriosuly i dont know why me?
ive tried every means i have...
and for 6 yrs...i got oni a pinch of success...
ah! i feel such a failure sometimes..
indeed i stress alot but i never show it..
coz is part of my growth..
for almost 7 yrs...i learn alot..
and i got treatened in many ways...
and i noe that, theres no point showing hw u felt when ppl acnt actually help u...
so jsut turn it into ur strength then...
but such strength that watz makes my beloved woman worrie dbout me..

these few dayz...
thinkign about doign something..
btu yet i never tried ot do it
coz whenever iw ant to do it,
i backup because some thigns just swayed thru my mind
and i hold back...
i begin to use the reverse-psychology
but yet it hurts me and also u...
sorry it is the pain that i often gives to ppl
it is the hard side of me that i can only give to u...
sometimes mayb is good to b a loner...
as to not continue to hurt others...
so just stay away from me...

ah! wat a pessimistic post i got...
eash!