New Year EVE!

now is around 4am++..
and obviously is new year eve..somehow if u really just go to a peaceful place ebven a small corner and just think..just think back frm 1st jan 2006 till now..somehow u will feel the sour and sorrow and a multiple combination of feelings within u..well in short, u will miss 2006..

@---}{---

[j]anuary = 
i think i got myself a job as a part-timer in esprit..lixin aso working and jo rot at hoem ahahah...so i was actually get used to the environment quite fast..
[f]ebruary =
it was chinese new year but i didnt really celebrate much as i gotta go to spore for performance---chingay parade . so my ang pao aso less..)=
[m]arch =
month where my besties went for NS..leaving me alone ere to past through everyday alone..i feel lonely sometimes..i got no1 to turn to when i in need of some advice..SPm results came out..i score 10A..was a success...(=
[a]pril =
this will alwiz be the month that i will never forget..is nt coz is april fool that falls ont his month.well it is the month when L confess to me.. i am quite stayput with my criteria..bt this month changed the person i am alot...and me you see everyday..well mayb soem of u may think i didn change..but well i can sense that i change alot..from the day where i truly beleive in miracle to the day i feel this is a bullshit..this will b the month where i saw the most beautiful rainbow n i can feel the aura in it and den out of a sudden lightning strikes on me and ended up on the ground.
[m]ay =
i start my uni..Utar is where i am now..met a new frenz! ~u noe who u r...i struggle each day as to think bout hw to change group..ahaha....wein was being such a great fren..serious...
[j]une =
i still being a fren with L..each day i will make sure i show a nothing-happen-between-us look whenevr we meet...going practices for cheerleading coz cheer2006 coming soon..i was trying to filled up my time being as bz as possible..i no longer feel liek i trully laugh or smile..im just good at fakign it rite...am i? L still concerned bout me...
jo came back frm NS. finally i hv a listener..
[j]uly =
cheer2006 was on...wein n ping was tehre i feel really happy and chin hong was tehre too..it was unexpected...but the person i tot will gonna b here was L but it was jsut too early n just couldnt wait till this day...
[a]ugust =
is my bday ocoz...i thx my utar fren for celebrating for me in uni..never thaught i will hvt his priority and thx to L for celeb with me in redbox.. i was actually nt really able to enjoyed coz i feel so uneasy and i was justs o afraid that i couldnt withstand the emo i hv at taht time..nevertheless at least my bday u hv once celeb with me!nt sur eif next yr will ti b the same..
[s]eptember =
fina exam and 1st sem holiday!..jo start college... again cant able to meet up as often..so i spend my holidya basically rot aso and also goign otu with ping n wein...never thought about sem2..
[o]ctober =
sem2 started and hectic life begins frm ere...lifeless being...i make thigns clear to L..thought by doign this i will hvt he motivation to let go..but does it work? well ur say? L big day..tried to do somethign special for him..but was an embarrasment as my request 
was rejected without fail and L just don wan me to do anyhting...
[n]ovember =
nothing much...same emo ...never stop thinking of L...all sortsa test assignemnt ..ruined my day...day by dayknow more ppl....day by day less converse with L..soon none...i wa sutterly sad...and and just so annoyed and irritated and frsutrated..i was out fo control i went mad...
[d]ecember =
xmas ofcourse and new year..and here i am now the latest me..does it makes any diff? not really..xmas was erm well pathetic..stoning around..bt was totally nonsens ein fish manhattan..till at elast i do had a great time..though kinda bored..new update bout dec coming up soon..well shall meet again in 2007..

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r u ready to welcome 2007?

tell me if u ever miss 2006?
r u regretting? or u r totally satisfy with it?

so fast hor..just couldnt believe that i left my school for a year now!
and evryting is like so fast..
didnt even know that i actually studying in uni for quite some time now..
this  wk is my last practical for physics..
chemistry still gt 1 more session to go..
miss kong said that if we behave well then we no need to do reports!!
yipee yeay!
but that also depends if we behave well or not..

cutting down all the assignment and exams...
still i hv assignment and exams(final)
sigh*
this is so hectic..
im lifeless..

i really fascinated by those genius!
they can be so cool at the same time they hv the aura
that shows they deserved to be looked up to.. 
well who like to be stupid anyway..
erm well this sounds unrelated ahaha...

well we gotta start planning for new year party! ahha
those who doesnt have anythign to do..
well is time for u to lists down ur new year resolutions..
hmm well i already started mine..
ahaha...

mizazaza
hardly heard from u nowadayz...
hw hv u been?
i hope u really check my blog!
got so many thigns to tell u hehe!!
lame tak cakap bahsa mlayu!
pa khabar saudari?
khabar langsung takda prubahan.
kami di sini same aje
bukan tido mestilah makan tak makan pasti blajar..
shoppign pun tak tau pa tu dah...
cam mane krismas wak?

ahahah okok si top si top..(stop stop)

sigh*
ont he last day of 2006,
ts gonna be a long posts again! nayahha...spilling all my
thoughts at one shot...muahaha...
stay tune...

dreaming

*left 2 hrs for me to sleep*
*awkwardly, turnign back and forth, my soul just wouldnt want to leave me*
*took a long time for me to hit the sack*
*halfway snoozing*
*dream begins*
*i could still remember that it started off well*
*nice settings*
*there's ceramic i can still remember*
*stood there was u*
*was i happy or was i not*
*i really dont know what or how should i be*
*and there goes the contents*
*so important but it swept away from my mind now*
*all i remember i was torned once again*
*like a samurai sword slash rite into the main element to live*
*i told everything that i kept for ages*
*u did reply me with guilt (how i hope u realli do feel guilt)*
*i hit u so awfully hard*
*nearly i fall off my bed*
*authentic tears really flows out of a sudden*
*sound of taskin illusion was heard*
*i got up abruptly*
*speechless*
*blur*
*grabbed my phone*
*trying to breath*
*morning call*
*i stoned still couldnt feel the calm*
*worried and feelign uneasy till today*

why r u avoiding me?
or am i avoiding you?

xmas eve

 this is so cute..ahah...<3

mErrY cHRiStMAS!

TADA!
is 25th of dec!
how did u celebrate?
tot ell ut he truth..
im mor ehappy on xmas day than my own bday..
ahaha..im serious
behind the reason..
ahaha
erm is too ironically deep to even understand..
so i wont elab more bout it...
well i jst came back form countdown for christmas in the Curve..
well erm ims ure those who hv went with me will know what happened
kinda stoning all the while after having our dinner...
kinda upset dat there's no fireworks
eeks! n my big sis told me that there isnt any fireworks on xmas day..
eash shud hv ask her b4 hand...
haihz nvm...
will gonna postsoem pics soon..so stay tune!
meanwhile im worryign bout my schoolworks now..hehe..
but im jsut to tired to even bother..
i shall sleep now..
on xmas day itself will gonna b my disaster day ...
ahhaha
rushing my homework...
geez...
MEerry ChristMas everyone..
rememebr WHat've Jesus done for Us!
Praise the Lord!
AMen... 

read my fren's,choo, blog...
totally agreed about the things she wrote..
its been long that L din online..mayb L is having a great time with C who came back from aus..well i should be happy for them isnt it? but fighting with ur inner emotion is really tough stuff..you cant lie to urself..u cant pretend and u cant act the best to the ppl who cares..

sometimes i wonder issit wrong to actually even do soemthign just to show L that im still friend n i do exists or izzit because i have thick enough skin that i dont really know whatz back up and embarrassed?...*exhale breath*  i really make it as a sin to mention L's name...jsut like the harry potter stories that forbit them to say "voldermort".. i could only use the initial..i try avoiding as much as i can without fail..hardest thing s when i have to face my colleague as they r kinda liek besties..gosh...i really hope that i lost my memory n deleted every single things that do with L..only thigns that do with L...if only God agree with me if not tell me the way to make me feel better...

i begin to put myself into a verys erious situation whereby there' only my imagination..i couldnt control nor i want to face it...sometiems i wanna kill L (datz scary) at times i wanna find C..at times i wanna ask why, at time i jsut wanna talk to L again... mayb i i dont have anyoen treat me like that b4..jsut like somethign thta is so special ...will u everw anna lose that special thigns? i bet u wouldnt want to let it go...as a matter of fact...is uncontrollable..i dont know who i want to blame ..i do not know who's the 1 who put me in this situation..i jsut dont know..i nearly give up eevrything..think bout it, though i give up everything, still L wont know a single things..so the sacrifices was just a lost to me..im so hopeless i thought and im definitely useless i admit..

nothign will change unless soemone change my world thatz wat i can think of now..

all i want for christmas..

christmas is coming real soon..erm things doesnt realy turn out well so far.. but im sure that im not upset after all coz at least my sis do not know howz her xmas gonna be..but definitely will be great as usual..so how am i celebrating? i really dont know.. y not u suggest to me?
im going for economical way but who dont rite..unless u r superdooper richie rich..
yea how i wish i got a fren who is super rich den can alwiz bring me out without needing me to pay! nyahaha..skipping class tomoro..bad me.im just followign the majority k..

this year christmas or shall i say all the holidayz or special dayz int his year is utterly weird for me.. coz whenever there's such dayz, im gonna b afraid..and dont btoher to ask me y..im still figuring out..eachtime there's surely 1 thing that bothers me..how i wish i could learn to avoid unecessary things get into my way! im just afraid and worried and desperate and hopeful..ah! ah! nope im nt talkign bout guys..im saying in a way i put myself as a perfectionist and that i really wnat thigns to turn out that way..i wish i could really go softer than havign the power n the affectation..

what i want for christmas? there goes the list...though its not just this short.. u noe who i am rite..ahha...

** my own bedroom **

**experiencing a party bash with interetsing people(not drunkard or drug addict)**

**a shocking mysterious unexpected gift**

(gift from "you" will be unexpected enough)

**continuous agenda**

**spotting the best things that i really like while just shop unintentionally**

**win a shopping voucher( a useful 1)**

**overnight and craze around**

**a special call**

**loads of cash**

**friends friends friends**

.

.

.

haha...datz part of it lerh..haihz even these thigns also seems so perfect..possibility is i shall give..0.000999?

haha...after xmas is new year...till then there'll b another round to plan....planner is a hardw ork..ahah...worse than public speaking coz u need to really sure that they're interested and totally enjoyed it.if nto it will call a failure...

eeks cinema all full on xmas eve..no kidding..edi expected coz all the kids will b bugging their parents to cinema liek they never seen a show...and teenagers or coupels will act even faster mayb coz they r liek us..those guys got no plan for their gf..int he end end up watchign movie just to waste time but still get to intimate..now i neo y dating is alwiz so boring ...eat + movie.. but so far at elast i experience a different kinda dating...at elast nt eat + movie..wellt hatz botu the oni sweet memory thta i can never forget rite now though almost everythign is being crashed and broke into pieces ...hehe

im a romantic person u noe..no kidding...alwiz paln thigns for the guys n tell them wat to do or givign sugegstion to suprise the gf...ahhah...but is nt good for me lah..coz im too creative d...so if ever i hv a bf..hahaha dat'll b so unfortunate for him coz he have to..('mark my word "have to" ') ...be mroe creative .... ehs o surely im gonan b single throughout my whoel lfie lah aight... actually the answer is nt that hard wert..ahahah...try figure out n tell me see if u can guess it.... what i mean as creative? ahahahah

haihz do i sounds like...crap? yes indeeed i am..i admit....

till THEN..

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MERRY CHRISTMAS!

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boring boring boring

geez now im in utar...so boring...got nothing to do...have to wait for 3hrs...omg...i rather skip physics n go home and sleep! datz so nice! ah! what can i do? so boring....yes im gonna say alot of time "boring" coz indeeed it is boring...tomoro is gonan b borign aso...well evryday gonna b boring...oh yeah zeying gave me 1 of her puma watch..eee! so nice of her..but i still feel like paiseh lah(bad) for accepting it..i mean is like for no purpose i own it..hmmm...what can i do? oh n just got back my chemistry paper..borderline pass..out of the 8 ppl who pass..ok rite..really thank God for all his blessings...but as usual edi expected wein got the highest! for overall..shign yee got highest for test2...bravo bravo excellento!
ahah
alrite i realli got nothign to post because the atmosphere here is just so pathetic and i definitely don hav ethe mood to blog.. im so bored..yep again im bored..so this is a boring post..don expect anyoen to post any comment...realliw anna skip class but cant...haihz y y y...

happy me!

today just finished 2 test (writing for science and physics!) yippee yippee!! 
havent blog for sometimes..what to do, there's lotsa work to do and exam just cant finish..however i look forward to christmas.. but then i still dissatisfied with the fact that we only have 1 day holiday..that really ruined the party..nothing much can be planned..whatzmore next week still hv math exam..u c.. is just so annoying having exam, assignment, reports again and again..y cant they just hv 2 instead of dividing it into 3 times? r they too free? life's just so boring.. i wonder how am i gonna take it when im in degree! mayb i'll become the worst or the nerd..nerd without calling me the "genius".. gaga...datz sad..

i was sick for 2dayz..now getting better.. n dad was claiming that i study toohard till fall sick but the truth is i din..well sick just sick..there's no explanation to it..anyway wein is sick wei ynn si sick too..mayb we r sreading to each other=p

just have asudden thought that the time we (zack, wein, sin, cynn, yee,me) will be ver short as i know that everyone will surely go ont heir own way after sem3.. now is like i alwiz ranter dat how boring is uni life n hw lazy i am to even attend classes or think of utar..but who knows that in just a blink of an eye evryting will b gone.. i alwiz ask if i ever cherish evry moment that i have with my loved ones..have u ever thought of that? though old frenz r definitely spend the longest time with us..sometimes memoirs with new ones just dont make any less...i noe that ive said it many times but just let me said it once again that ir eally cherish the time ive been with u all n that i tahnk u all for supproting me till d end..

seems liek now sem 2 gonna end n sem 3 cant say long or short..so i dont know when will b the day we all gonna reminisce back the time we had..alrite i sound damn emo byt he way..

hm...i mite b changing my blog address againa because lots ppl being a silent readers...and some sayz my blog is hard to rememebr..but well there r more ppl whose blog is harder to rememebr than mine..ok mayb is my bad for writign too many nonsense n definitely cant deny that is boring..

rage+down

i do not know why but rite now im extremely angry, frustrated, filled with negatvity and just so moody..
i dnt know how to do my math for example~
* i think im a accountant or wat in my past future, is just that once i do not know how to do, is just so annoying and i just geram with it..
* i feel stupid..
* helpless
* not giving my best
* ya as usual im cursing my brain placed at my butt.

i wonder if i deserve,
anythign from the giver,
those that i seek;
mimicking like a geek;
on and off i feel deared;
but vision is utterly unclear;
putting myself in this situation,
filled with dissatisfaction,
just so uncomfortable,
as well as unbearable;
if this is what that is destined;
i shall declare it as so mean.

========================================

i want to say this to anonymous,
that i realli hope that i was wrong;
i trust the truth just liek is being said by the star;
i never letting in any negativity to come in my mind,
coz i believe and i dont give in,
but anonymous again n again,
u never be truthful,
makes me have to reconsidered,
every single dos and says,
i almost had enough,
of the hypocrite that the anonymous put on,
i wish that i misunderstood,
that i dont see the other side of the anonymous,
and that im wrong but anonymous remain real,
but wat is ee was self-centeredness,
should i or not ever falsify myself,
no i dont need to,
as for if anonymous being the anonymous,
is just fine and all i need is whine,
why cant everyone shows the good,
and live harmoniously and stop influencing n causing chaos in others life?,
even the pure and innocent monk or nun,
prove us the dark side of some who fake it too.
y is there only 1 EARTH.
shall i pray for that?

ms nicole

today is our last practical with ms nicole...
my twin sista..ahah...nah jk...
will gonan miss her so much...
miza u got 9.5 for 1 of ur reports..ahah
damn good good!
yerh i look so messy!
grr!!!

 

short updates

days have been the same...
the weekends and allt he free time are used to complete our 
assignment all that shit... but still the time is not on our side...just don seem to finsih the work..everything gonna due next week..n i only complete 1...5 more to go!..sigh* im just so stress...xmas is coming n u c...i don even take out my xmas tree out n decorate yet...gosh i hate this year december...normally december i'll gonna b yellignt hat im so boring n i got nothing to do...now i really want to have nothign to do...except shoppping...but i need cash too... yesterday went out with my fren, joaquim and also her frenzz to 1u for awhile..
yup i know is nt the right time to do such thigns but i just don get used to my aunt 
hse...so silent...ahaha...too silent....anywya we spent most of our time in 1u taking pics as in those photoshop...with various type of frame n stuff...those j-photo...thatz wat i called it...ahaha...anyway was fun lah playing such thing...gosh im just so hungry now...where's my sis...!!
luckily tmr no school....gotta make use of my time wisely...^^

it's been so hectic

life's been so difficult for me..with loads of school tasks that need to be completed in a weeks time.. im just so tired of it.. i wnder if short sem will b like this or not.. or mayb i shall compare with my future?..will it b as unbearable as this? somewhat i just cant concentrate in wateva im doing now.. i just couldnt enjoy what im doing or complete at least 1 tasks..well im sure nt only me thinks that way.. thatz 1 of the problem im facing.. another problem that is bothering me is non other than those things that already past.. sounds awkward coz since already past whatsmore can i think about? *thinking* same old boring kinda problem.. guess majority of u already fed up with it.. but sorry guys ..i just need to spilled it all out to my blog..so u all could just close both of ur eyes for that.. wat to do, time with frenz isnt much.. cant alwiz takl bout personal things as schoolwork overweighing everything..all i can say is...while the stain remains in me, there's nothign i can do to b who i am before..im sure evryoen of u all familiar with this :"things will never be the same again".. well i shoudl post soem fo the recent updates for MIZA! though i know she's been unable to read my blog for quite sometimes..but thanks to her i've gt the reason to actualyl blog properly soemtimes..
so updates:-
em..normal lifestyle where we hv 3assignments, 1presenattion, 2exams..n other stuff liek tutorial n stuff le...so is alott!!! i just need to c example so that i can do...told u guys my brain is located at my ass..(kasar betul!) well thatz d oni wya i can describe my BRain nowadayz...sorry BRain! sounds insane..
nothign much..everyone was fine:
wein alwiz complaining hw fat she is n did nothing and shitting all da way!
weicynn seems tired though sleep logner than me and still blur kakaka
shing yee as alwiz also he person who almost can finished up allt he work..amazing this girl..
zack,since beocming CR(class rep), she's been so responsible n with the genius Brain of programming she go back n forth assisting everyone to do their assignment..another amzing girl...
yoon sin getting noisier but/...but...getting more harworking ..giving me pressure!...
and me..hmm basicalyl did i say bout my condition?
ah nvm just chuck this in too...
me me me...erm..me...hmm i cant comment botu myself..ahah...coz i dono wat state im actually in..well personally i'll say ive been neglectign lotsa thigns n half way becomign a slacker!

so this is the 1 on 1 updates..ahah
genearlly our class is stills ame..same ppl same nonsense..
lectures time was damn noisy..with allt hose guys nt oni frm our td but also tohers td was extremely annoying n irritating..making mr ong pissed off i think on mnday..yea on monday..mr ong put the mic ont he table so hardly showing that he realli pissed off..hmm o.O scary huh..but i realised most guys in utar talk without thinking...just don realsied wta they say is unethical u noe wta i mean?
no offense but i just found out as it is now become so obvious..
n den wta else...erm i think dat all...
eh girls(though i noe there'll nt gonna b any of u ppl who r free to read my blog..but just tryign) anythign u wanna add-on pls do so in the chatterbox k...im just having short term meemory....
(=

i dowanna said this btu fucked!

i lost the post that im supposed to post! just because i  kena
 virus frm the stupid fella...
n i gotta restart my com gosh!
now dat im so not in a mood...
i cnat repeat wat i type just now
shit....so shitt...
wat happen to me these dayz...
satan wanna play with me? or did i accept the game that he requested actually?
i din i swear...but y me?...
im almost near to death every single moment...
last nite was overwhelming
neednt i say more....
coz is nt what iw ant n i think devil lure me out of my wits to do that...
well thigns dat will come..u cant control it for it is ur destiny....
this afternoon was almost makes my heart crashed....
i step ont his thumbtack whiel im wearing my flip flop...
and luckily im nt dead yet...is huge! n im like still shocked by the fact that it was closed!
tonite i accepted a link...n normally i wont even bother to c those link
n y at this time?
my brain really shifted to my butt?

goodbyenovemberwelcomedecember

do u believe it? it's december! gosh almost 1 yr! time flies. and im looking forward to christmas! so far what i hope my christmas will alwiz in vain! im serious! nothing seems to flow like what ive planned. think bout it makes me wanna shed my tears ),= but each "new" year i alwiz give myself the hope. and as naive as it sounds, i really beliv that a perfect splendid gleeful christmas will gonna come soon in my future. well at least i hope! the most impossible condition is that to hav white christmas. i mean rite, this is malaysia. unfortunately i c no snow! *sigh*

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updates bout my university of total astrocious rights..(is a mnemonic//jk)

lotsa lecturer leaving us soon.. like ms nicole(chem lecturer), mr william tan (prog lecturer) and even student r leaving this uni soon.. causing me to have the urge to leave too..gosh both lecturer is so good. all i wish is that we'll gonan get a better 1..and i mean betetr as in.. guide us in every means n nt strict with face problem like writign for science..most important they must b smart and interesting hehe.. miss them lots..

rite now everyone of us must have been to dejavu..y? coz we're gonan have assignment, presentation, exam again! just like having ROUND2..hmm like playing video game which we're having war to survive! which u will never die coz all u get is game over and u can still restart!

boring shit!

@---}{-----

it's WORLD AIDS DAY!

watched the channel [v] bout aids..

was really great i mean the way they deliver the message!

there was this woman..telling bout her story of being 1 of the people who get HIV positive.

it goes like this..

she discovered that she diagnosed with HIV in 1996;

during that time, she just have HIV negative;

but the doctor said that soon she'll gonan have positive coz of some causes which i actually forgotten ahah;

so it tooks her 3 mth to discovered she hv positive;

she did confront her husband bout where he get that HIV!

and her husband actualyl told her that some kinda blood transmission got into him n bla bla bla;

wateva...and so well she just accept the reason;

but nt long, she saw her husband passports and found that lotsa thailand chopped which indicates he went to thailand quite often and frm then on she knew that his husband got the HIV from those prostitute in thailand (percenatge of hiv diagnosed prostitutes are quite alot);

she was angry but she din leave him as she knew that he is her husband;

so yrs later the her husband passed away;

since she's been undergoing medication, her mother-in-law's fmaily was shocked that she actually having HIV too!

and u noe wat.. those ppl actually blamed her n even claimed that she's the 1 who caused the death of her husband..which in short saying that she's the 1 passing the HIV to him;

wth..n so,she became so depressed and she jsut acnt take it anymore,she even tried to commit suicide twice;

fortunately her mom and family give supports to her n even packed her stuff n called her to stay with them;

now she's still undergoign medication n she hopes that those who hv HIV negative to remain negative;

those already hv HIV positive, she hopes that there r people who care for them and be by their side!

so my word is, AIDS&HIV r 2 diff thing..don discriminate them coz they hv this. it doesnt infect us thru touching or sharing drinks;

and also..never ever try to have unsafe sex!

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life for me is like a labyrinth. whenever i stroll a path, soon i will meet dead end. what can i do besides turning around and try another? datz the hard thing. i know that there's an exit. but it might takes me a millionth tries 2find that way out! my life compared to lotsa ppl, im considered lucky. still im complicating my life! i do have this narcissism in me or mayb im just plain weird! im the sphinx which potraying who i am." mysterious" kinda homo sapien..bahaha..i guess i myself cant really figure out what actualyl the impression i give to others.. i even think that occasionally i just speak without thinking! our tongue definitely poisonous. noe that?!

i love this phrase..."love is a beautiful thing, but it can kills you too"

i think those ppl who r just like me the unlucky one will agree with me. do u think "love is blind" or "we r blinded by thelove?".. such contoversy will never have an answer..coz is liek doing math..where u differenciate sin x or cos x...this differenciation will keep continuing..they'll nt gonna end..coz both r rite!(oh gosh im applying math into my blog? whatz wrogn wif me?"

** if u happen to have read my blog, tell me that everything is a dream! tell me that u're typsy during that day u confessed! tell me that we're still the same! the most painful cut is nt when u're old , it is when u're still fresh! where u first taste the cut.. the theory of the longer ur relationship the pain will b the utmost is actually lesser compare to the pain that gonna bare when the realationship ended when it still fresh! i've made my statement clear...i said stop kidding with me..i take it as a joke bt y u steadfast..y did u convinced me? ive jsut said i just revive again, im fragile that i do not wanna have the hope again..but u...u convinced me..and congrats u win the game..of weakening my vow~...n i revive and immediately i saw bright lights shining on me...im save but i fell once agin...the lights dimmed at my very own eyes!i lose hope..u break the miracle that i alwiz been believing..deep down u're laughing so contentedly that i laugehd wif u..laughing bout the way i've been so doopy..sometimes i aint wanna b smart or i never been smart b4?.

lying to people is easy, but to the 1 dat u love.....just cant do it...neither i can hid the lie within me. im clueless...

sorry guys for ive been so negative..just cant b stoical rite now...
don try to read this..suchbullshit im writintg...