goodbyenovemberwelcomedecember

do u believe it? it's december! gosh almost 1 yr! time flies. and im looking forward to christmas! so far what i hope my christmas will alwiz in vain! im serious! nothing seems to flow like what ive planned. think bout it makes me wanna shed my tears ),= but each "new" year i alwiz give myself the hope. and as naive as it sounds, i really beliv that a perfect splendid gleeful christmas will gonna come soon in my future. well at least i hope! the most impossible condition is that to hav white christmas. i mean rite, this is malaysia. unfortunately i c no snow! *sigh*

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updates bout my university of total astrocious rights..(is a mnemonic//jk)

lotsa lecturer leaving us soon.. like ms nicole(chem lecturer), mr william tan (prog lecturer) and even student r leaving this uni soon.. causing me to have the urge to leave too..gosh both lecturer is so good. all i wish is that we'll gonan get a better 1..and i mean betetr as in.. guide us in every means n nt strict with face problem like writign for science..most important they must b smart and interesting hehe.. miss them lots..

rite now everyone of us must have been to dejavu..y? coz we're gonan have assignment, presentation, exam again! just like having ROUND2..hmm like playing video game which we're having war to survive! which u will never die coz all u get is game over and u can still restart!

boring shit!

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it's WORLD AIDS DAY!

watched the channel [v] bout aids..

was really great i mean the way they deliver the message!

there was this woman..telling bout her story of being 1 of the people who get HIV positive.

it goes like this..

she discovered that she diagnosed with HIV in 1996;

during that time, she just have HIV negative;

but the doctor said that soon she'll gonan have positive coz of some causes which i actually forgotten ahah;

so it tooks her 3 mth to discovered she hv positive;

she did confront her husband bout where he get that HIV!

and her husband actualyl told her that some kinda blood transmission got into him n bla bla bla;

wateva...and so well she just accept the reason;

but nt long, she saw her husband passports and found that lotsa thailand chopped which indicates he went to thailand quite often and frm then on she knew that his husband got the HIV from those prostitute in thailand (percenatge of hiv diagnosed prostitutes are quite alot);

she was angry but she din leave him as she knew that he is her husband;

so yrs later the her husband passed away;

since she's been undergoing medication, her mother-in-law's fmaily was shocked that she actually having HIV too!

and u noe wat.. those ppl actually blamed her n even claimed that she's the 1 who caused the death of her husband..which in short saying that she's the 1 passing the HIV to him;

wth..n so,she became so depressed and she jsut acnt take it anymore,she even tried to commit suicide twice;

fortunately her mom and family give supports to her n even packed her stuff n called her to stay with them;

now she's still undergoign medication n she hopes that those who hv HIV negative to remain negative;

those already hv HIV positive, she hopes that there r people who care for them and be by their side!

so my word is, AIDS&HIV r 2 diff thing..don discriminate them coz they hv this. it doesnt infect us thru touching or sharing drinks;

and also..never ever try to have unsafe sex!

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life for me is like a labyrinth. whenever i stroll a path, soon i will meet dead end. what can i do besides turning around and try another? datz the hard thing. i know that there's an exit. but it might takes me a millionth tries 2find that way out! my life compared to lotsa ppl, im considered lucky. still im complicating my life! i do have this narcissism in me or mayb im just plain weird! im the sphinx which potraying who i am." mysterious" kinda homo sapien..bahaha..i guess i myself cant really figure out what actualyl the impression i give to others.. i even think that occasionally i just speak without thinking! our tongue definitely poisonous. noe that?!

i love this phrase..."love is a beautiful thing, but it can kills you too"

i think those ppl who r just like me the unlucky one will agree with me. do u think "love is blind" or "we r blinded by thelove?".. such contoversy will never have an answer..coz is liek doing math..where u differenciate sin x or cos x...this differenciation will keep continuing..they'll nt gonna end..coz both r rite!(oh gosh im applying math into my blog? whatz wrogn wif me?"

** if u happen to have read my blog, tell me that everything is a dream! tell me that u're typsy during that day u confessed! tell me that we're still the same! the most painful cut is nt when u're old , it is when u're still fresh! where u first taste the cut.. the theory of the longer ur relationship the pain will b the utmost is actually lesser compare to the pain that gonna bare when the realationship ended when it still fresh! i've made my statement clear...i said stop kidding with me..i take it as a joke bt y u steadfast..y did u convinced me? ive jsut said i just revive again, im fragile that i do not wanna have the hope again..but u...u convinced me..and congrats u win the game..of weakening my vow~...n i revive and immediately i saw bright lights shining on me...im save but i fell once agin...the lights dimmed at my very own eyes!i lose hope..u break the miracle that i alwiz been believing..deep down u're laughing so contentedly that i laugehd wif u..laughing bout the way i've been so doopy..sometimes i aint wanna b smart or i never been smart b4?.

lying to people is easy, but to the 1 dat u love.....just cant do it...neither i can hid the lie within me. im clueless...

sorry guys for ive been so negative..just cant b stoical rite now...
don try to read this..suchbullshit im writintg...