read my fren's,choo, blog...
totally agreed about the things she wrote..
its been long that L din online..mayb L is having a great time with C who came back from aus..well i should be happy for them isnt it? but fighting with ur inner emotion is really tough stuff..you cant lie to urself..u cant pretend and u cant act the best to the ppl who cares..

sometimes i wonder issit wrong to actually even do soemthign just to show L that im still friend n i do exists or izzit because i have thick enough skin that i dont really know whatz back up and embarrassed?...*exhale breath*  i really make it as a sin to mention L's name...jsut like the harry potter stories that forbit them to say "voldermort".. i could only use the initial..i try avoiding as much as i can without fail..hardest thing s when i have to face my colleague as they r kinda liek besties..gosh...i really hope that i lost my memory n deleted every single things that do with L..only thigns that do with L...if only God agree with me if not tell me the way to make me feel better...

i begin to put myself into a verys erious situation whereby there' only my imagination..i couldnt control nor i want to face it...sometiems i wanna kill L (datz scary) at times i wanna find C..at times i wanna ask why, at time i jsut wanna talk to L again... mayb i i dont have anyoen treat me like that b4..jsut like somethign thta is so special ...will u everw anna lose that special thigns? i bet u wouldnt want to let it go...as a matter of fact...is uncontrollable..i dont know who i want to blame ..i do not know who's the 1 who put me in this situation..i jsut dont know..i nearly give up eevrything..think bout it, though i give up everything, still L wont know a single things..so the sacrifices was just a lost to me..im so hopeless i thought and im definitely useless i admit..

nothign will change unless soemone change my world thatz wat i can think of now..