i didnt mean to...

as i get older~i realised ive been doing lotsa mistakes~or mayb it just because when we're small, we dun realised that we're wrong until we're punished~ but now as i have brain and thinking, i can figure outt he mistakes i made which is sometimes is hard to be forgiven just by being punished or even saying "sorry"~as i was having conversation wif my mum~i thought i could be so open to her that bcoz she's like an angel who is so close to me that i got nth to hide about~but no..~im not a perfect person~i mean who does~hmm...~so tired of telling lies~but i just had to~coz im nt ready for any consequences yet~

the 2nd week of holiday is yet to end soon...i hope i can stop counting down the dayz to end my hols..coz i realli love hols no matter hw boring it is...oh and on wednesday that time...i actually went to ** hse with my soon-to-be-aunt...was realli scary..becoz as i step into ** hse my heart beat like superb fast...n my "aunt" went in to ** room...and i juts stay outside the living room...coz i don dare to go in...s far so good i tried to control myself frm entering the room...hv a lil chat with ** mum....but it was really long....n finally i give up...n i enter the room..putting on a fake smile and faking myself to act like im sporting enuf ...but the feelings was no kidding---it is terrible... mixture of happy, sad, miss, pain.....as i already expected ,we din tok much...)=
i nvr miss a day to check out ** blog...but most of the time it just will hit me hard when the post is about *c n knowing that ** depressed...i just feel like easing ** pain away if oni i could...do u remmebr the coincidences we have? was it just coincidence or was it fate?

this things just so frustrating...u cant let go u cant hold on...*sigh*...
anyway...y even this world hv rules or limitation...
no i shud say y human hv to b so cruel or doing th eworng things instead of right?
hmm...really do hope that i don question God but i really skeptic sometimes...
3more mth....we'll gonna welcomed yr2007...so fast..really miss 2006....but it left no signicant to me just like i don signified anything to u....
oh Jesus...my guilt just getting heavier...does it coutn as a sin? but im syaing lies...
*gomenasai*