besides my examination which caused by the lack of sleep and stress..im having AV too...
such combination was totally nt right at this time...im so moody... and when i look into my mirror...i alwiz got shocked as in the way i looked was utterly horrendous...
everyone was so bz nowadayz... n people say that im bz too.. hmm? am i?...wondering~
i knew it was exams dat im bz with...but im blogging now...n yet, i know that im not that bz after all...u see everyone's like so anxious bout econs which is my next exam paper...no doubt, they're all studying...coz it seems my msn so silent..haha...
gee~ den im ere onlining...doing many things but nt studying...yea is my bad...
but i am tired...so so tired...mayb coz of lack of blood~
sleep? nop i cant n ive tried...i alwiz knocked down at the worng timing which i hate it..
mayb i shall go for some phsychitric therapy to hypnotize myself..
mm this is a good idea...bt no $$
insomnia is back...n i think i will oni get rid of it again while im having holiday!...
but holiday was totally tiresome too..
i was palnning to do lotsa things...
n with the cheer im in...it means everything i.e time ...
n im basically afraid to get back with them...
i feel im so left out n im so way back!
everyone will look at me one suspicious scary kinda look...hmm... but i promise my captain dat i'll b back when im free...so i cant break my promise...
when im gonna quit cheer? i dunno
mayb till my bones cant bare it anymore
ahahha...and rite nwo cheer is my oni income that i can get...
so i cant back up now...n i missed it too
____________________________________________________
just now having meeting with my family (consists of me 2sis n ba) ba explode again...n this time it hurts my 2nd sis feelings...but yea..was hurtful to us...i think everyone now is just so confused n do not wanna think of anything...is like sometimes u will b thinking...is nt all my mum's faul, she did her best, and at th esame time bias came to ur mind, and u start thinking....owh gosh wat did my mum do in US? so worried...hw can she b so irresponsible...does she know wat deep shit our family having? we're having an issue on financial...i swear that ive known this prob will gonna come since the day my mum left...
finally ba bring it up...coz of my 2nd sis needing to hv money to pay fee for college....is 7k++...c...even 7 k is just so hard to get...
after all the rantering frm my dad....
i feel that my dad really loves us...he sacrificed alot...n noone knows the hidden side of him...
bt as i think of the way my dad spend his money n his life...
i give up...and it change my mind again...n now im so stuck..
hving prnts liek this make my life even more complicated...
every mth i hv to hear someone say their life gonan end...
biggest shocked ever is when my aunt told me grandpa suspected to hv cancer...
totally shocked...
aunts and uncle pray all the time...n finally results came out...my grandpa was ok...but nearly get it!...thank God...
i really nt ready for any death happen now...
_____________________________________________________
now, dad took out allt he insurance n let nth...everything gotta start from scratch again...
i really hope that i got a job
i really envy some ppl that they can hv job thru their talent
like some of my fren does...
currently sis tryign to sell off the clothes thru onlining..
n it actually show some response..coz got ppl interested...
hoepfully there'll b more pp interested in out stuff n dat it can help some financial of ours...
hope after this meeting..everyone will know hw to spend their money..
n the biggest prob is my bid sis...
che is alwiz the spender...n hoep she'll gonan change n help out our family....
n for me...
this financial prob can lead to many stress
as it means that i hv to really study well so dat i can get loan or schoalrship continuously or get an offer...which is something that is so impossible....
it really make me damn stress n frustrated...n ocoz i do want that i can make my fmaily proud n dat allt he money that i spend on my education is all worth it...
____________________________________________________
this is coz...seeing my dad working out those financial so damn hard...which...
he even gotta everyday eat maggi mee and nt goin to my grandprnt hse coz of feeling ashamed to c their faces staring at him with all the question bout money n mom...hiahz...
i just feel like ima horrid child...
____________________________________________________
nvm of those things ive said...
just crap that'll make u all feel confused n rose the agony too...coz annoying.....
ahaha
____________________________________________________
i wanted to involve myself in association..besides cheer which i give up of coaching coz gotta pay 300++ just to get cert as a coach...n oni last for some limit of period...so wtf...
and iw as thinking f...WWF..bt preferably SPCA ahaha....after watchign the animal planet where they the SPCA went to the area where the katrina hurricane hit them...n dey save the animal there....aww! seriously im so so so happy...is tears of joy! coz u can c hw happy the animal when the spca found them n sav ethem...nt oni that...those owner who found them back was marvellously ...*big smile* .....n im sure the spca ppl will b sooooo hapyp as well to c them reunite...amazing hw simple a person can satisfy sometimes...n i just wan tthat...
____________________________________________________
such combination was totally nt right at this time...im so moody... and when i look into my mirror...i alwiz got shocked as in the way i looked was utterly horrendous...
everyone was so bz nowadayz... n people say that im bz too.. hmm? am i?...wondering~
i knew it was exams dat im bz with...but im blogging now...n yet, i know that im not that bz after all...u see everyone's like so anxious bout econs which is my next exam paper...no doubt, they're all studying...coz it seems my msn so silent..haha...
gee~ den im ere onlining...doing many things but nt studying...yea is my bad...
but i am tired...so so tired...mayb coz of lack of blood~
sleep? nop i cant n ive tried...i alwiz knocked down at the worng timing which i hate it..
mayb i shall go for some phsychitric therapy to hypnotize myself..
mm this is a good idea...bt no $$
insomnia is back...n i think i will oni get rid of it again while im having holiday!...
but holiday was totally tiresome too..
i was palnning to do lotsa things...
n with the cheer im in...it means everything i.e time ...
n im basically afraid to get back with them...
i feel im so left out n im so way back!
everyone will look at me one suspicious scary kinda look...hmm... but i promise my captain dat i'll b back when im free...so i cant break my promise...
when im gonna quit cheer? i dunno
mayb till my bones cant bare it anymore
ahahha...and rite nwo cheer is my oni income that i can get...
so i cant back up now...n i missed it too
____________________________________________________
just now having meeting with my family (consists of me 2sis n ba) ba explode again...n this time it hurts my 2nd sis feelings...but yea..was hurtful to us...i think everyone now is just so confused n do not wanna think of anything...is like sometimes u will b thinking...is nt all my mum's faul, she did her best, and at th esame time bias came to ur mind, and u start thinking....owh gosh wat did my mum do in US? so worried...hw can she b so irresponsible...does she know wat deep shit our family having? we're having an issue on financial...i swear that ive known this prob will gonna come since the day my mum left...
finally ba bring it up...coz of my 2nd sis needing to hv money to pay fee for college....is 7k++...c...even 7 k is just so hard to get...
after all the rantering frm my dad....
i feel that my dad really loves us...he sacrificed alot...n noone knows the hidden side of him...
bt as i think of the way my dad spend his money n his life...
i give up...and it change my mind again...n now im so stuck..
hving prnts liek this make my life even more complicated...
every mth i hv to hear someone say their life gonan end...
biggest shocked ever is when my aunt told me grandpa suspected to hv cancer...
totally shocked...
aunts and uncle pray all the time...n finally results came out...my grandpa was ok...but nearly get it!...thank God...
i really nt ready for any death happen now...
_____________________________________________________
now, dad took out allt he insurance n let nth...everything gotta start from scratch again...
i really hope that i got a job
i really envy some ppl that they can hv job thru their talent
like some of my fren does...
currently sis tryign to sell off the clothes thru onlining..
n it actually show some response..coz got ppl interested...
hoepfully there'll b more pp interested in out stuff n dat it can help some financial of ours...
hope after this meeting..everyone will know hw to spend their money..
n the biggest prob is my bid sis...
che is alwiz the spender...n hoep she'll gonan change n help out our family....
n for me...
this financial prob can lead to many stress
as it means that i hv to really study well so dat i can get loan or schoalrship continuously or get an offer...which is something that is so impossible....
it really make me damn stress n frustrated...n ocoz i do want that i can make my fmaily proud n dat allt he money that i spend on my education is all worth it...
____________________________________________________
this is coz...seeing my dad working out those financial so damn hard...which...
he even gotta everyday eat maggi mee and nt goin to my grandprnt hse coz of feeling ashamed to c their faces staring at him with all the question bout money n mom...hiahz...
i just feel like ima horrid child...
____________________________________________________
nvm of those things ive said...
just crap that'll make u all feel confused n rose the agony too...coz annoying.....
ahaha
____________________________________________________
i wanted to involve myself in association..besides cheer which i give up of coaching coz gotta pay 300++ just to get cert as a coach...n oni last for some limit of period...so wtf...
and iw as thinking f...WWF..bt preferably SPCA ahaha....after watchign the animal planet where they the SPCA went to the area where the katrina hurricane hit them...n dey save the animal there....aww! seriously im so so so happy...is tears of joy! coz u can c hw happy the animal when the spca found them n sav ethem...nt oni that...those owner who found them back was marvellously ...*big smile* .....n im sure the spca ppl will b sooooo hapyp as well to c them reunite...amazing hw simple a person can satisfy sometimes...n i just wan tthat...
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