perubahan

bilalah ku akan lupakan semua hal masa tu...tak pernah ku alami situasi begini. keperitan yang berterusan. sehingga ku sekarang dah malampaui batas tersebut. macam dah kejang. tiada rasa. tiada reaksi. inilah yang dikatakan kesedihan yang sangat sukar untuk diatasi...urgh! so hard to write in bm...haha.(scratch that) ...........
i read back my space. specially the april. cant help it but im cryign now. so shitty. cant i just shut the fucked up. im so sorry i couldnt. i cant help it.bt seriously i read back. n i c the b4 n after. how my life had taken away. in just not even a week. im so lousy shit. why do u did this to me. why. yeah u told me indirectly. u said that its ok to sad for 1 or 2 day. i've tried my ass out. how dissapointing, i din succeed.i realised how my pain...started frm tung to satusfaction to hurt to death to live and back to hell. u c dat? u c da cycle in my blog. im a total sinner. i was wrapped with all the torns. it shud let it go. if i wan my soul back. btu i stayput. so strongly. i never stopeed struggling.which
leads to even more tangle.more scars. hard to b cure anymore.night is my nightmare. so silence so empty.so lonely. the calmness is where the devils start to act. no1 to call for help. so, i comfort myself...bit myself: stop crying..itz ok..
im so pathetic. im nt blaming anyone else. i know it serve me rite. for i din elt go. i din accept the reality. i still hold ont o my faith. to my believe. that miracle will happen..i still recall evry single words u told me dat day. i still rememeber dat i actaully say sumthign dat coz me to b so near but yet so far. a simple n sentimental question. im very happy for the response u gave. the touch of ur hand, i'll never...no never...forget....n the special fragrance u have. it presence in my surroundings all the time..somehow's like a panacea for me..
listening to 988. Cf realli do say sumthing true.. we're not meant to b, then is better to let it go..