stash

wonder how i am. hiding away. avoiding the days. like there's no other way. reality defining a harsh, tough &malaise situation. again im rantering. i just have to say it out. if not i guess im worse than it is now. ** hv been giving all up on me. i could c through ** friendster. our relationship is no longer complicating. we go our own way now. mayb ** happy with the way ** is now. and so i noe that i should learn frm ** too. frenz alwiz call me to move forward. nvr turn back. i take it for granted all the time. im so stubborn n naive at the same time. it is like killing my momentum of my life. however, evry single day ** never out of my mind. but i have no longer feeling like as if i wanna die just coz of lil things. really thanks to my frenz & God. im so unpredictable that i, myself also dont know wat il'll do next. i seems like having different faces. som ask me b4. whether im a pianist? nop! chinese literate? nop! smart? hell no! but then when they know me better. oni then they realised im crazy. full of crap.blursome. haha...normally all the unexpected thigns out of me. so out of topic! haha. k recently i saw this quote. i love it so much. haha. it says "Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely." so hard so hard to let ** go. but i have to. coz ** have given up on me. no longer long for me. itz time for me to say datz it. enough i've said. bt this is not the end. as i still love **. not sure till when. all i know for now is that u're the oni one who i've really love n u make me trust in miracle n love do exist in this world again. but again, u make me treat love as something that is like almost hypocrite to me. shall not have fall in this kinda things anymore.it is toxic.im discouraging myslef. but this for others. dun listen. love is something really wonderful. is really the happiest thign u ever feel when u found a person that u love n u get to love each other.bt nvr forget that. it will aso hurt u even more if u heartbroken. this is if u're unlucky like me. there's somethign i wanna say to **. i think well. let me think of how to start first lerh. but i noe i dun hv the courage to say. just wanted to write it out. as if i've said that. haha silly me.