right kinda wrong

havent been updating my blog these dayz. was bz with all my examinations and assignments. so tired cos last nite did nto sleep at all just to rushed my assignment and study the last minute for my chemistry and economics. and today i end up answering all these damn thing badly. so is kinda annoyed me as i actually so stupid that i force myself to study without getting to sleep but yet is effortless. well i guess im the 1 to be blame as i study last minutes. its time again to say sumthing about **. ya ya is boring! bt still i gotta say sumthing. ha ha. just feel puturbed couple dayz ago as i found out that ** no longer need me and this feeling's sux. n den i will begin to reminiscing back the time ** confessed to me and all the things (dat basically all r fraud) that ** told me. just makes me feel so sick of ** and wanna puke. felt like there's 2 person in me. i can be this and i can be that. i couldnt figure out who i am at times. it worried me somehow as i think i mite have some psychotic imbalance or deasease symptoms like that. shit! im gonan be insane soon. degup* degup* basically as i recall back wat ** said before. i will questioned why alot and i mean ALOT. yea coz y ** confess to me at th efirst place. and there's lots more why. deep down in my heart, i seriously do not noe how to let go. i love ** more than ...more. though u c, i tot i can overcome my prob. but though i've not been contacting or hanging out with ** i still cant letgo. moreover as my uni getting more occupied, i seldom online and was a good way to avoid myself from keepign in touch with ** so often. just to let myself engrossed in studies and to forget about her.also to make myself feel stronger. but still it oni helps oni a wee bit. tryign to find other way. still trying...how true am i? well i can say is less than 100% definitely. but who is 100% true? i believe everyone do kept their evil part deep deep down their heart.grins* well everyone has their own secret lerh. datz y there's this word "secret" int he dictionary. buti've been almost 80% true to 1 fren n my mum. both of them is the one that i seek when i have problem. thanks to them i can still b alive now. u just cant handle everythign all by urself. u need at least soemone to help u out in ur life. but to find someone who u really trust is totally like finding one in a millions. but i swear when the time im with ** i've been so true to **. useless anyway.